by William Dean
(01/25/06)
Language can often evolve or descend into the mire of cliché, especially when we're confronted with something a little "different" about sex and gender. But words like "different," and even "ambiguity" are both weaseling words. We talk about someone's sex being "ambiguous" when it doesn't fit into the neatly labeled M(ale) or F(emale) categories, but there's nothing ambiguous about gender to the people who are expanding the previous limits of our concepts.
By now, many people have been exposed to gender-switching porn of one kind or another. Too often, porn being porn, the labels slapped across the stories, photos, and videos reduce the concept to its lowest common comprehension level. Thus, we see "Chicks With Dicks!" screamed at us along with blatant urgings to "sign up now and send money!"
Quietly rising, however, is a somewhat different blend of sex and gender. Leading the way in many areas is Buck Angel -- the man with a vagina.
You have to admit, Buck Angel is hunky. Handsome face, oh so masculine muscles, and a demeanor and presence that charms. He's also FTM. But Buck opted not to lose the genitalia that we've come to accept as female. In the vernacular, instead of a chick with a dick, Buck is a dude with a pussy. Buck is also rapidly becoming a porn superstar. I caught up with Buck for this interview during a brief lull in his busy shooting schedule.
Clean Sheets (CS): With a 12-picture deal signed (with Robert Hill Releasing) in 2004, you've sort of stepped into the boots of a porn star. In some ways that must affect your personality and confidence. They say, however, that the fame of porn stars is fairly ephemeral. What are your plans for a life "after porn"?
Buck Angel (BA): Being a porn star is kind of fun for me, but it isn't really a big deal personally. It is kind of a means to an end. I don't always plan to be in front of the camera. It has long been my intention to return to the spot I started from, on the other side of the camera. I love making movies, and I plan to continue directing. My plan is to make movies with other FTMs in the spotlight. I stepped up to the plate to do it because there wasn't anyone else making "mainstream" FTM porn, and I realized there was a void, and I filled it. There is a huge industry of MTF (Shemale) porn, and so far, just me as the sole FTM doing what I do. I look forward to other guys like me being involved and really creating a genre of this type of porn.
CS: A lot is being written and said recently about the so-called binary imperative of gender, i.e. one body, one sex. Artists and activists, including Morty Diamond, Del LaGrace, and Kate Bornstein, talk about breaking down that gender barrier. Are we, do you think, looking at a genuine future where such barriers or imperatives simply cease to exist?
BA: I don't think they'll cease to exist in my lifetime. But I do see some greater versatility and flexibility coming into the realm of gender. And exposure to my films is something that's helping!
CS: As more sexual transfigurations occur, are we going to have to revise much of our currently general understandings of terms like "bi-sexual" and even sexuality itself?
BA: Of course! For example, when I film a movie with a biological man, you look at the scene and see two very masculine, muscular bodies. It obviously looks "gay." But then when you realize there is, technically speaking, a penis and a vagina engaged in sexual intercourse, that brings to mind "straight" -- though it clearly isn't straight. So it throws a curve ball into the usual ways of thinking. Then, you see me with a Shemale, my legs are spread wide, and she is fucking me with her big cock, and, well...that isn't exactly "straight" either.
CS: Obviously, changes in physical bodies will confuse many people, and confusion can breed both excitement and distrust. Do you think we're simply too hung up on standard definitions of masculinity and femininity?
BA: Our culture is very hung up on the standard definitions of gender and sexuality. It is pretty sad, because it is so limiting. I feel really lucky that I have been able to step outside of my early training and enjoy the sexuality I've been granted in this life. As people get more exposure to different ideas and varying types of people over time, I do think there will be some improvement of understanding, and more acceptance of gender variant individuals.
CS: Individuals like Patrick Califia, for example, have been very articulate about the challenges of transexuality, both in the physical and the emotional turmoil. Others, too, have said that the metamorphosis has been painful, but not as painful as "living unfulfilled." What words of wisdom or inspiration do you have for people, like yourself, who have taken the offered options for change?
BA: For me it was literally a "life or death" situation. I had to have a sex change, or I was going to kill myself. This is true gender dysphoria. I could no longer live in the wrong body as the wrong gender. It wouldn't be about "living unfulfilled" if I hadn't made the change. I simply couldn't have lived.
If you feel like you are living in the wrong body, it is very important for you to seek help, and to go through the proper channels (get therapy, blood tests, etc, and no black market testosterone). Overall, my transformation was not painful. I felt like I was finally becoming myself. It was great! Fortunately, I ended up with the support of my family and my job. I was very lucky. But a transition does not have to be painful and difficult.
CS: There's "porn" and then there's the daily life -- even the romance and love, if you will.... What does life outside the porn hold for Buck Angel? What are your inner passions and how do you express them off-screen?
BA: I have a great, fulfilling life outside of porn. My work is only one aspect of myself. But as Buck Angel the porn star, I don't really share much of my personal life with the public....
CS: Many porn performers eventually get into producing or directing. Is that part of your future goals?
BA: As I previously mentioned, this is where I started in porn, and where I'm eventually heading back to. So, if you are a hot FTM guy, and you want to get into the porn world, feel free to send some photos and let me know you're interested in making some smut.
Oh and I just got a nomination at the 2006 AVN Awards for Buck's Beaver for "Best Transsexual Release." I am the first FTM to ever get a nomination. So once again I have made porn history.
For more information, visit Buck Angel's Web site.
