Clean Sheets Reader Comments
July 2000 Comments
Patrick Califia writes, in the introduction to _Some Women_, edited by Laura Antoniou:
When I worked as a volunteer, answering phones for San Francisco Sex Information…one of the most frequent questions we got from male callers was, "Why won’t she swallow my cum when she sucks me off?" My stock answer was, "Maybe she doesn’t like the way it tastes. Have you ever tasted your own cum?" To a man, all the callers said, ""Yuck! That’s sick!" and hung up.
Take it from a guy - swallowing is a major point of debate for every woman I've ever known!
Nice writing here.
Either Paul's latest editorial is a condescending bit of prattle, or he needs some help coaxing his tongue out of his cheek . I take my blowjobs very seriously, and I've never had any hesitation in swallowing. In fact, that's usually the best part about fellatio, that briny-sweet-creamy shot at the end of a long, hard suck. I *have* talked to gay guys about sucking. The consensus among my male and female friends is that a blowjob is a kind of sacrament, more intimate in its own way than a fuck.
What is the questionnaire Paul refers to? I'd love to know.
Well I haven't been here in a while and am sorry I haven't! Better-than-sex, mimosas, plums, strawberry sundaes, eating in France and at the movies, and a sexy cookbook -- these are all wonderful. Thank you!
sorry, but that story about the plum is crap!!
I was laughing my head off in the 1st paragraph!
Well, I think women would give men more blow jobs if ....... no, wait, every woman I know is giving men blow jobs all over the place! What ever is he talking about?
Nice writing on the orange sex story.
Tell me the "Northern Lights" isn't over and we'll get to read more about Aurora! That was very fun and sexy.
Wonderful theme, food and sex! Wonderful to see it played with in a variety of ways rather than resorting to the old standby of boring aphrodesiac recipies.
I'm enjoying the Erotic Feast so much that I hate to see it end. I'd like to see the cookbook return as an occasional feature, maybe with contributions from readers, as well. I love these insights into the intimacy and sensuality of food preparation.
at last something tastefull and attractive, great stuff
mike b <email@example.com>
Yummy. Ms. Indigo is found in the tastiest places - I just follow her links around the Net and end up happy. I have to disagree, however, because *nothing* is better than sex!
Gayle Brandeis's poem about avocadoes is wonderful. I love the image of them "sitting zazen in the wire basket . . . waiting for . . . endarkenment."
How sensuous and imaginative this writing is!!
I was really very hungry before I came here, and now I'm very satisfied, word-wise. I shall have to be shallow and take Brad Pitt for my better then sex comparison. Nice work.
This is very sexy, literate writing, with the sausage, the mimosas, the plums, and the hookers cooking. With a sexy, personal cookbook as an extra! I have only one problem with all of this - it makes me hungry. An article on dieting through sex must be due next.
The northern lights, the southern cross ,the braunschwieger - great weird sexy stuff this week.
The good fiction is back finally! "Hungry" is hot writing, and "The Northern Lights" is a fun sexy tease of suspense.
That's what family and friends are for.....
I loved "The Lesson." What a fine, horny, rich piece of writing, and what a talent Debra is!
I really enjoyed the subtlety of "The Lesson." How such simple things like eating oysters can turn us on with just the right words, the right gestures! In some ways, that kind of subtlety is more of a turn-on than the more blatant sex descriptions -- not that blatant descriptions are a turn-off! :-). Imagination is a good thing, though, and I love see it cultivated.
The article on proofreading for Penthouse surprised me--I was pretty certain that the letters were made up. Almost had to be. But the explanation of how they are altered by the editors made sense. And I liked that the proofreader finally had had anough and moved on.
Ron Stevens <firstname.lastname@example.org>
The art of seduction, the art of eating,(the eating!) the sex, the strawberries - lovely, original zine you have here.
Yipes. Typoes. I mean "...tales of sexual escapades..." Sorry!
RE: the Spaghettini story, I have to agree that it seemed a little amateurish; the dual POV didn't bother me as much as the lackluster prose. It looked like something that belonged in the Letters section of Penthouse, where they publish tales sexual escapes without regard for the quality of the work. It might be erotica, but it wasn't literary.
Loved the Strawberry Sundae story Bill. It left my mouth watering and me needing my second cold shower of the day. Too bad the peak strawberry season is over in Canada. It's my favourite dessert. *VBEG*
Laura Dee <email@example.com>
4 times! That's why them call them fantasies, I guess. Very funny SpagheTina bit here, Sara Lee.
Re: your posting in Clean Sheets Reader's Comments -- Thursday, July 13, 2000 at 00:45:15 (PDT)
Thankyou for your comments in defense of my story, Spaghettini Salad that appears in Clean Sheets........I think. It seems you ended up doing more criticising than anything else, which is fine. *LOL* Please let me remind you that quite often, as in this case, when a story in published it is edited by someone on staff at the magazine. I saw the final draft at the same time you did and was given no say in how it was presented. Please let me take this opportunity to answer some of your questions.
>>>>What bothers me about it (and about so many other erotic stories) is the lack of realism, for instance regarding the time lapse between male orgasms. Unless these people were having sex over the course of several hours, there is no way the guy could have orgasmed that many times!
....Do you really think four times over the course of four or five hours is an unreasonable amount? I realize it takes time to recover, but I really don't think this is unreasonable. I've seen times when it's taken merely five to ten minutes, although I admit that's very rare, but not impossible. The normal time is 20 to 30 mins. *G*
>>>> I find the idea that one has to exagerate sexual performance or arousal in a story to accentuate the intensity of the sex misguided.
....No exaggerations here. I was a bit of a late bloomer in the sex department actually and find I'm trying to make up for all the things I missed now. To tell you the truth I find my stories somewhat tame compared to some of the wild stuff out there. I, like you, find stories less entertaining and arousing if they are overdone.
>>>>Also putting a cock that has been rubbed with a salad dressing into a vagina might cause severe irritation problems!
....Since when? Nobody said it was mixed with hot pepper sauce. *LOL* Olive oil based dressing is probably less irritating than baby oil or that outdated old standby, Vaseline. It can be absorbed into the skin without harmful effects. The only problem one might encounter is being too slippery and falling off of one's partner because of it. It sure is fun trying to stay together though, wouldn't you agree? *G*
>>>>And a man doesn't have to orgasm four times to convince the reader that he had an exceptional sexual experience.
....Of course he doesn't. Even if he only has one orgasm in the course of all that fun play, that's fine, as long as he's satisfied and content. Sex play can be fun with no orgasm as well, but it sure is a nice bonus. *S*
Hope this helped to clarify the story a little.
Laura Dee <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I love this place. I learned all of this right here:
There was a musician obsessed with his groove. His girlfriend
Tina was obsessed with sex. "I must play," said he. "Play me,"
said she, but he left her alone in the kitchen and free. She tried
to turn him into a strawberry sundae, but he broke out in hives
and couldn't jive. She fed him oysters, but he remained in
his inchoate state, wrapped almost fetally around his
guitar. She made pasta and found him on stage. She hung
spaghetti on the shaft of his guitar like tinsel on a tree.
"I was really very hungry," said she. "I'll get to you in
9 ˝ weeks," said he. She hung spaghetti on all the
members of the members of the band. They each promised her
4 minutes a day if she would go away. "_I_ am better than
sex," said she, and she wrapped her boyfriend round and
round with wet noodles until the only groove he knew was
her wild laughter and the taste of spaghetTina.
And then he fucked her.
I don't agree with Rich about the Spaghetini Salad-story and I find his remarks somewhat demeaning. I don't see what is amateurish about a dual point of view, it certainly is uncommon, but that can be seen as a plus rather than as a drawback. I found the story as a whole rather charming and fairly sexy. What bothers me about it (and about so many other erotic stories)is the lack of realism, for instance regarding the time lapse between male orgasms. Unless these people were having sex over the course of several hours, there is no way the guy could have orgasmed that many times! Unless, of course, Laura Dee is married to a one-in-a-million stud who can shoot off at will!I find the idea that one has to exagerate sexual performance or arousal in a story to accentuate the intensity of the sex misguided. To me, when a story is not plausible, when I can't imagine me living it, it is just not arousing, just silly. I find erotic writing should find a compromise between excitement and reality. Sure, you can stretch reality a bit, but you don't have to fly off into outer space!
Also putting a cock that has been rubbed with a salad dressing into a vagina might cause severe irritation problems! If the characters are aroused enough not to care about that, O.K., but that doesn't alter the fact that the risk is there and should in some way be referred to, be it in a passing, dismissive remark. This may sound like I'm being a bit of a wet blanket, but I feel one should not cover up the small inconveniences of sex (like long waits for second erections, post-coital irritation, the aftermath of anal sex, cleaning up the mess,...) out of fear that this might kill the excitement of the sex bit. If it is done with humor and flair, even the hassles and nasty side effects of any kind sex can contribute to the overall excitement, if only because people will recognize these problems and will feel that the story is in some way about them. Well, that's my view, but who am I? Still, I've been wanting to write about this aspect of erotica for a while now, because it really interferes with my sexual pleasure when a story just doesn't sound 'real'. (You might have guessed that I 'm not into vampire and erotic ghost stories.) And let's be clear here: I'm not saying writers should write about cleaning up messy beds or emptying buggered bowels or treating a sore sphincter with ointment in graphic, disgusting details. I'm not into that kind of prose either! But an occasional mention of these aspects in a non-offensive manner might help making some stories less corny. And a man doesn't have to orgasm four times to convince the reader that he had an exceptional sexual experience. And if you absolutely want to make him come twice, a believable time lapse, filled in with some imaginative 'in-between-play' will leave a lot of readers a lot less frustrated about their own performance and much more aroused.
There, I've written it!
RE:Better Than Sex
Nice thoughts. My personal better than sex is one I feel blessed that I get to repeat quite often, and i like to call it "transcending the groove".
As a musician, there is a place where one ceases to play music and instead begins to be played. Almost a near death experience, wherin one stands outside the physical body and watches the player be played. I find this usually happens easiest during impromtu jam sessions with strangers at parties. Grab a guitar, lay down two chords until the other players fall in, and then soar for awhile. Frankly, I'll take the nivana of falling into my instrument over sex anytime. Of course, Suzy, you know where to find me if you want me to try and convince me otherwise. ~grins~
MFK Fisher is a _fabulous_ writer - very nice to see her profiled here.
Spaghettini Salad...not one of the better pieces I've read here. The duel poit of view style was amateurish. A friend of the editor perhaps?
Re "Better Than Sex" - what a good concept. I think I'll try tracking things that are as I go through my week. I hope I can find some.But I'm going to use sex with Catherine Zeta-Jones as my guy standard.
mmmm..... Like Water For Chocolate is a very sexy movie! Nice issue. Oysters aren't really an aphrodasiac except by myth, but they're full of minerals and vitamins and are very low-cal and good for you!
Re: Better Than Sex piece
4 minutes a day having sex is the average? I will NOT let my wife
read this - she'll give me the old 'half hour a week is plenty' routine.-:)
That was a very thoughtful and moving story here. Thank you.
That movie review makes me have to go put 9 1/2 Weeks on the VCR, like, _now_.
Maybe this means I need a life that I even notice, but my English teacher heart has to point out the incorrect choice of language in that story -oysters served to you at dinner are hardly in an “inchoate state,” and I doubt she really is going to “caterwaul” at this guy. And we don’t’ teach this in high school, but I’m *positive* that no man or woman in a state of seduction ever actually says the word “genitalia” to the other. : ) Otherwise, I’d give this site an A+ !
I thought the fiction was cute but overdone(wink, wink, we adults know what oysters look like!), but loved the 'How To Make a Sundae" story,the chocolate oranges, and the movies and food article. Yum!
Great issue this week - I'm looking forward to the rest of the "erotic feast." The poem is wonderful, as is Debra Boxer's "Oysters"!! The art is still pretty boring, unfortunately. I wish you'd branch out from the usual female nudes more often, but those Earthmother paintings are just terrible.
I'm glad to see Cleansheets is still here! Excellent writing this week about better-than-sex and strawberry sundaes .
A bit rough around the edges, but we seem to have comments working again. Thanks for your patience.
It's not that we're censoring you here ... it's that our new server is misbehaving with the Comments file and won't let readers add comments. We will whip it into shape shortly and post a notice here when it submits to our instructions!.
7/6/00 12:59 PM
Personally, I totally disagree with the idea that geeks are poly (at least, the ones that are) because they're under-socialized. That's because there are some very close relationships between introversion and extroversion and sex. First, the rule that "sex discriminates only against the shy." While some introverts discover at some point that they don't necessarily have to get to _know_ a person to have sex with them, quite a lot of others like myself have a real problem doing this even after discovering this fact. Personally I just don't like doing it that way and would rather be in monogomous relationships.
Second, it has been proven that introverts get divorced at a much lower rate than extroverts do. This shows that introverts don't have much of a problem staying in a relationship once they're in one. The real problem is just getting to that point, since introverts aren't very good at meeting new people.
Oh, by the way, it's also been proven that introversion isn't "being under-socialized," but instead it's something genetic. There's a good chance that being introverted results in being under-socialized though, rather than the other way around.
Just read "Kolymbythres" in your archives, about the beach of the "shameless visitors". Excellent, sexy, hot writing, and now I want to be right there on vacation!
7/1/00 8:10 AM
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